Emily shared with me recently her story of going to work day after day in an environment in which she felt increasingly uncomfortable. Yet she chose to stay and do nothing for several years. She somehow had convinced herself that by ignoring this untenable situation it would, over time, correct itself.
I don’t believe Emily’s story is all that uncommon. Over the years I have spoken with many who shared similar experiences of ignoring events or experiences that were unpleasant to deal with.
Rather than face them head on – regardless of the consequences of so doing – they chose instead to pretend that the situations were not as bad as they seemed or that, by simply disregarding them, they would self-remedy.
It often takes a great deal of courage to face reality. The discomfort in dealing with adversity – or sometimes outright denial – is, for many, much easier than facing these challenges head on.
The Habit of Facing It To Fix It is a very difficult one to take on and yet, when faced with the inevitable challenges that life throws at all of us, our willingness to implement this habit will always prove to be a sound decision.
Disregarding adversity and challenge in the naïve hope that it will miraculously disappear does nothing other than prolong uncertainty and, over time, can lead to near paralysis in our abilities to find resources for solutions to the curves life sometimes throws our way.
In these challenging times for many in Alberta, several friends and clients have shared with me examples of how stress, fear and desperation have led them to this level of paralysis.
They have acknowledged that these very feelings have led them to a point where just thinking of the problems became unbearable and they sought solace in pretending that ignoring their plight would somehow, magically, cause it to go away.
And they all learned the bitter lesson to be learned by all who choose this method of ignoring adversity.
The day arrived when each of them was forced to confront their reality and, by virtue of having spent no time seeking resourceful solutions, they were ill-prepared to do so.
They all admitted regret at not having assumed The Habit of Facing It To Fix It much earlier as this would have gone a long way to alleviate the anguish they all experienced when forced to deal with their situation.
Rarely do problems solve themselves and experience has taught me that early intervention is always the best and fastest method of finding resolution to challenges.
As unpleasant and unwanted as adverse situations can be, The Habit of Facing It To Fix It affords us the greatest opportunity of discovering creative solutions and, most importantly, moving the situations from our present reality into our past history where, with the passage of time, they become nothing more than distant memories.
Deluding ourselves into thinking that problems will solve themselves does little other than delay the pain of dealing with them and, as many of us have learned, delayed pain is increased pain.
And that’s something that none of us need.
The Habit of Facing It To Fix It. It is not a way of dealing with challenges, it is the only way.
Let’s make a habit of meeting like this.