77. Do it while you still can.

The Habit of Making That Call. Why is it so important? Why is it something we should do now rather than later?

The answer is simple; because we can.

We all have people in our lives with whom, either through choice or complacency, we’ve had no contact for extended periods of time.

Perhaps our non-contact has been our choice caused by a falling out, misunderstanding or real or imagined slight. Over the years I’ve met people who have shared with me that there are people they do not talk with because, “Uhmm, well I can’t actually really remember why I am not speaking to this person I just know that I am not speaking to this person.”

Sometimes the reason is simply a function of complacency. They’re always going to be there so if I don’t get around to calling today, oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

As we all know though, sometimes tomorrow is just too late and if we wait to make the call, to reach out and patch up our differences or simply to reacquaint and say Hi, we are nourishing ourselves and our spirit in ways that can only contribute positively to our well-being.

When we choose not to adopt The Habit of Making That Call we are also choosing to either continue ingesting the bile of anger that we call “our reason for not speaking to them” or we are rolling the dice and tempting fate by putting off making that call until mañana which, as we are all too aware, never comes.

Perhaps we would all benefit by pausing to wonder whether the time has come to make that call NOW. After all, the only true absolute in our lives is not knowing when either we or they will no longer be taking calls.

These past two weeks have brought me several dozen stories from folks sharing their disappointment in themselves for not breaking through the walls of anger or complacency that for many years have kept them from sustaining relationships with family and friends.

Time lost can never be found and years of separation can never be put back together.

The experts tell us that we only ever experience two types of pain: the pain of discipline and the pain of regret.

Discipline means doing what you know you should be doing when you truly don’t feel like doing it.

Regret means wishing you had when the opportunity was there, and you didn’t.

They say that the pain of discipline is fleeting. The pain of regret is lasting.

They can’t be too many things in life, sadder than wishing you had when you could but you didn’t and now you can’t.

It takes a big person to swallow their pride and extend an olive branch after years of harboring anger and other ill feelings. It often requires a superhuman effort to be willing to set aside differences and build the bridge to reunion and yet I have never met anyone who has done so and regretted it.

A wise person once said that the quality of our lives is the quality of our relationships and we may never know what great potential relationships might lie in our future if anger, stubbornness, false pride, or even sheer laziness prevent us from exploring the possibilities in the present.

The Habit of Making That Call may not always grant us the results we desire but there is a warm, good feeling to be enjoyed for having tried.

Let’s make a habit of meeting like this.

P.S. My book Life Sinks or Soars – the Choice is Yours now has its very own website. Please visit us at  www.lifesinksorsoars.com  and let me know what you think.

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